God, please stop me from slaughtering them. Ugh.
It started out on a bad note because my mom's having a really bad day, like, REALLY BAD. She's not angry, just really quietly-depressed. And that really scared me. And then my grandmother just starts going off about it, like I DON'T KNOW. DON'T TALK TO ME. Go comfort her! I don't know! BUT DON'T JUST STAND AROUND TALKING ABOUT IT.
Plus, the wireless just stopped working, so it just pisses me off even more.
To me right now, i need to avoid my grandmother like the plague. She just irks the HELL out of me, and i can be guaranteed a night of non-sleep tonight, thanks to her penchant for loud bright TV. I think i'm just going to sleep in the living room tonight. Can't put up with her bullshit anymore.
Edit: My annoying relatives just came out into the living room to intrude on my peace again. Wonderful. And people wonder why i don't spend more time at home. I need to move to my aunt's house. Soon.
Allow me to first describe this woman. She was old, around fifty maybe? With horribly brown skin. Bet she dyed her hair black. Probably a spinster. She looks as though she doesn't get any. Horrible pinched look that either says "I'm jealous that everyone can have sex but me." OR "I REALLY NEED TO SHIT. MY BOWELS ARE EXPLODING FROM THE CONSTIPATION." Or perhaps it is both. Oh, and to top it off, she had this HUMONGOUS BLACK MOLE on the left side of her nose. The kind that makes me want to get cosmetic surgery just thinking about it.
She was okay at first, and well, i fell asleep, so i admittedly couldn't really notice anything in the beginning.
Halfway through the bus ride though, i was most rudely awakened by some very sharp and long nails jabbing into my left shoulder. IT WAS DAMN FUCKING PAIN OKAY. It bloody hurt until i actually got off the bus. And who was the culprit? None other than Ms. I-NEED-TO-SHIT. She was actually looking at me as though i had caused her mortal harm. Or as though i was responsible for her (hopefully incurable) constipation, or as though i had stolen her only chance to get some before she died of toxin poisoning from her own shit! Then she raised her hand as if to say "get away from me", or "talk to the hand". I'm guessing it was because i was starting to tilt in her direction while in the throes of my very pleasant dream that she so RUDELY interrupted. I was like "WTF?!" because I am DAMN SURE that i hadn't even touched her, because i would have woken up if i had. Stupid BITCH.
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, JABBING ME WITH YOUR HIDEOUSLY LONG AND SHARP YELLOWED NAILS? Who the hell would do that?! At the very most you would push the person away, or shake them awake right? WHO ARE YOU TO JAB ME? FUCK YOU AND THE SHIT STUCK UP YOUR ASS. I would say a pole, but that means that she was getting some when she so obviously wasn't.
This may seem like a very extreme reaction, but I'm grumpy because she 1) woke me up, 2) spoiled my nice languid mood from my gym workout and 3) made me look into her ugly mug. SO. I think I'm justified in posting this to vent. Better than me punching her like I was so tempted to anyway. I think that that might have some detrimental effects on the skin of my knuckles. The look on her face could probably burn though the Ho's thick pockmarked skin.
OMG. Something just occurred to me! She'd be the perfect match for the Ho! They're both single, ugly and desperate. Ugh. I pity their offspring.
Really, if you ever get the urge to strike up a conversation again, don't bother. Seriously, i have no idea how you can have any friends if the first thing that came out of your mouth was so hideously offensive. Oh wait, i forgot. You don't HAVE any friends. MY MISTAKE.
It went something like this:
I was talking to melo over Mind Your Body until she had to go off for some reason i can't remember. Then, i was left alone with said person (to be referred to as IT) on my left hand side on the bench. =Insert awkward silence=
I was completely uninterested in talking to IT, because of a previous altercation (see previous posts), and proceeded to pointedly ignore IT. IT naturally couldn't stand the denial of his existence, and proceeded to start a conversation.
"So, ah, (my name), i noticed that you've been very flustered lately."
"Huh? What?" Okay, so i wasn't being very eloquent at the time.
"Flustered, like, you know, flustered." He said this while chewing something. Ew.
At this point in time, i was thinking; how do you know if i'm flustered or not. You see me once a week. Asshole.
So i said "Er... Not really."
And he said this.
"But you know that your grades are quite bad right?" WTF? And he proceeded to continue in the same tangent while i tried not to punch him in the face.
FYI, i got C,D,D,D,E. Not that good, and i know it, but...
WHAT PART OF SOCIAL INTERACTION ALLOWS YOU TO TELL ME THAT MY GRADES ARE BAD? You don't bloody teach me anything, asshole! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? MY MOTHER? GO GET A SEX CHANGE THEN! But then again, if you were my parent, i'd jump off a building. If you wanted to ACT concerned, why don't you ask "how's school been?" instead of "i've noticed that you've been very flustered lately" and "do you think that you're more affected than everyone else?"?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TO IMPLY THAT I DO WORSE THAT EVERYONE ELSE? I can tell you that not even my mother will say what you did, because she KNOWS that i'm not AN IDIOT, like you seem to think i am, and that i KNOW my own grades.
And i can tell you that although i know that my grades are not the best, i am damn happy and proud that i have no 'U's and no 'S'es. UNDERSTAND OR NOT. I don't need you to tell me! And if you want to ACT concerned, at least act as though you'd like to help me improve or something, and not as though you'd like to put me down to inflate your bloated ego, asshole!
You know that advertisement on TV recently to encourage people to become teachers? "You never know what a difference you can make." You've made a difference, alright. I hope you're proud of yourself for making every single one of your students hate you, because GUESS WHAT, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS HATES YOU. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. And its not because they associate with us, its because you OFFEND everyone with your "I'm always right" and "Don't make ME look bad" attitude.
SO FUCK OFF. GO BURY YOUR NOSE IN A PILE OF SHIT. I THINK IT'D CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR OPINION THAN I DO.
Its going to be a really long process, especially considering that i've gotten DDEDD for Blocks 1. I suppose its an encouragement that i didn't fail anything, but seriously, straight Ds, and one E? Even for KI, for god's sake! I don't think that i've ever felt so below-average in my life. Ugh. There were always some grades that could cheer me up, like a B or C. Not this time. Added to the fact that i've just gotten a B for PW, which is really such a loserish thing to do, i'm not exactly feeling my perkiest.
Perhaps its the realisation that my life is really going nowhere. I have no goals, no aspirations, and i'm just coasting along, waiting for that wave to carry me somewhere. I really need to step up if i expect even a shot at that scholarship. You're only ever going to have this one chance, and if you blow it, then its highly unlikely that you'll get a second one. If only i could find the motivation to get off my ass and start doing something about it. Its times like this that i wonder why i'm in this education system. Why bother, when you don't care?
But i suppose i'll have to do something about it. Set a goal, create a dream, TRY doing something. Apathy really is the most terrifying thing. So i suppose... My goal will be those 5 As at 'A's. And getting down to a dress size that's even remotely close to normal. Now i'll just have to do something about it. Start revising NOW, instead of always trying to cram everything into the space of a few days. Go running every night, that sort of thing.
Now, more than ever, i value my privacy. Even if its just in Starbucks, i can be alone with my thoughts and feelings, to just sort myself out, figure out what it is exactly that i'm trying to do.
In the process of typing out this blog entry, i think i've realised something important; i can't keep trying to impress people or try and be something that i'm not. I can't keep doing things to please other people, can't keep lying to keep people happy. I have to be honest with myself, and face my own flaws, my own mistakes, and make up for them. If i didn't do so well this time, i'll just have to try harder and do better next time. But i can't do it for anyone else but myself. Not my parents, not my teachers, not anyone. But myself. I want to do it, and that is why i WILL do it. Its just as my doctor said; she can't do anything to help me, if i don't want to help myself. Only when i have the motivation, can i even begin to accomplish anything.
AND THEN, here comes the ridiculous part, THE DEMERIT POINTS WEREN'T FOR SKIPPING FIRE DRILL, THEY WERE SOMEHOW LEFT OVER FROM LAST YEAR, WHEN I SKIPPED THE SPORTS MEET (speaking of which, i should only get 2 points for skipping sports meet than 4 for truancy - shit you!). So I basically got upset and made myself sick FOR NOTHING. And all of this stemmed from The Whore ASSUMING that those demerits were for the fire drill. "BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T ASSUME. IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD, IT MAKES YOU LOOK BAD." Well guess what, you just made yourself look like a fool and an asshole for making a girl cry in your class FOR NOTHING. Not that we didn't already think that you were an asshole in the first place. Hope you're proud of yourself.
Oh, and don't bother apologising (not that i think that you'll even TRY), because we all know that its only to make yourself look less like an asshole. Still, if you did, i'd at least try to save you face by accepting it. Of course, this is still assuming that you're anything like a decent human being, which is really asking too much, isn't it?
But anyway, that's passed, and i'm no longer upset, though the headache and sore eyes that got out of this were horrible. So let's move on to the thing that REALLY made my day this morning.
My KI proposal got rejected. Wonderful, isn't it? I had 5, 6 drafts and it STILL got rejected because it was "too broad for 3000 words". Oh God. Ugh. Things just keep on coming, don't they? Well, at least this one i have some control over. I am upset about it, but i refuse to get worked up, because that would just be a waste of my time and energy (as evidenced by above situation). I'm going to see Mr. Lim about it tomorrow to see what can be done to salvage this situation. So. Wish me luck.
EDIT: Wow, i was just informed that a total of 16 people out of 37 had their proposals rejected. Even the mighty J.Ang's got rejected. Ouch. Anyway, that sort of makes me feel better (and less inferior), but i know that i still have alot of work to do. Ugh. Wish me luck, because i'll need it.
- Mood:aggravated
Why? Because my uncle went overseas for a leisure trip and left my aunt behind cos she needed to work. She doesn't like sleeping alone, so i'm now in her extremely pleasant house with her. :DDDD
Can anyone else sense the love in the room?
This is what life and home should be like. Ugh. For some reason, my detestable and childish cousins were sleeping over at the house until fucking tuesday, with my grand aunt and guess what? They're cramming into the already-tiny-and-cramped master bedroom. So now, minus me, there are SEVEN people living in one room. Wow. Sounds like coolie living man. So cool. must be why they love it so much. Yuck. Oh well, i'll be sleeping and possibly LIVING in this house until they're gone, so hopefully I won't have to see them too often.
Now, if only I could get the TV to work, and connect to the wireless, it'd be perfect. :DDDDD
"Teenagers at that age (meaning 17-18) grow as much emotionally and psychologically in one year as adults will in eight."
We, or at least I, had always thought that I was on top of the world, at the prime of my youth, even when I was in primary school. And as i advanced, i would always think of how stupid I used to be for thinking that, for thinking that the world could be so one-dimensional. But now, I would really like to go back to being like that. Once upon a time, the world was so simple. But my world now is fraught with multiple concerns. Be it financial, academic or even familial, it seems that things keep demanding my attention. And it seems like I just can't give them the attention that they desire, that only some of them deserve. Unlike some people, I can't be an overachiever and be able to deal with a million things at once. I'd like to, but my brain wasn't born for it. Or rather, I'd like to have a little "me" time. Time where I can just be alone with my thoughts and emotions, without the extra baggage that real life likes to dump onto people.
Am I a bad person because I happen to hate living in my house? That I'd do anything to get out? That I think the people who matter the most don't care? As I type this, I'm sitting in the shared bathroom with my macbook on my lap. Outside the door lie people who I couldn't care less about, and people who mean the world to me. Am I a bad person because I hate my relatives? Or that I select who to love and hate?
The Asian familial system says to respect and love all elders and to accommodate all stupid little children, and people with minds smaller than that of stupid little children. Or at least, mine does. The Asian family also believes in togetherness and gigantic extended families. Or at least, mine does. Asians breed like RABBITS. Or at least, mine does. Asian families like to squeeze together in little cramped quarters and give you no room to even pee. Or at least, mine does. The Asian family is practical. Don't study something if you don't have a goal career in mind. Don't study something that has no practical purpose. Don't study something that won't lead to a white-collar job that pays you ten thousand dollars a month. Put in 500 percent effort to get into a course that is otherwise far out of your reach and interest areas but will forseeably lead to that high paying job that I, I mean, you've always wanted. It doesn't matter if you hate your job. I hate mine too, but I do it anyway. Happiness, after all, lies in making enough money to support jobless uncles and gambling grandmothers, owning the 5 Cs and making more money than your parents did. All you Asians out there, does your family do that too?
So maybe I'm being a little critical. I like money too. I like to spend it, at least. I do think that a part of my happiness will come from having a well-paying job that enables me to have all the comforts life can afford. I also happen to think that a LARGE part of my happiness will be living the way I want to, without people trying to interfere. I want people to trust me enough to think that I am able to make my own decisions, and not try to make them for me. I want to make my own mistakes, to cry at my losses and laugh at my gains. I want to see the world. I want to do it all - away from here. Away from the place where my only privacy is in the comfort of a dingy little toilet. Am I being a bad person for wanting that?
My dad says that I have no passion, no drive to do anything. I might as well do what he wants me to do. Make money. After all, whatever other choice I make won't be as good as the one he makes for me. Of course, I can do what I want - as long as its the same as what he wants. Wow, its really encouraging to hear that dad. Please say it more often. I'd love to be more confident about myself, cry a little more, hide a little more, die a little more inside. It invigorates me to think that I can't do anything. Thanks dad.
I do believe that my mascara's running.
The End.
- Mood:aggravated
Conclusion: I should become a hermit and live in the remote mountains and only emerge when i get the urge to shop. Or before i die of hunger and malnutrition.
FOR SOME REASON, MY DEAR COUSIN HAS TO KEEP GETTING HIMSELF INTO MY BAD BOOKS. HE'S FUCKING INSANE, AND ABNORMAL, I ACCEPT THAT, BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO BE EXCUSE AND ABSOLVED OF ALL OF HIS WRONGS! ITS AS IF THERE'S SOME ASSOCIATION FOR THE HUMANE TREATMENT OF THE INSANE LIVING INSIDE MY HOUSE THAT PUNISHES PEOPLE IF THEY EVEN SHOW AN INKLING OF MISTREATING HIM!
So WHAT DID THAT FUCKER DO? Remember the really expensive doll that i bought awhile back? The one that cost EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS? Well, my INSANE cousin shows some inexplicable kind of fascination with him, and HE KEEPS TOUCHING IT. AND NOT JUST PATTING IT, HE LIKES TO FUCKING TWIST THE JOINTS AROUND AND ATTEMPT TO PULL IT APART! I WOULD GET FUCKING MAD IF EVEN MY CLOSEST FRIENDS DID THAT, LET ALONE A STUPID COUSIN I CAN BARELY TOLERATE.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST THING IS? MY GRANDMOTHER AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND SEEMS TO THINK THAT I'M BEING TOO HARSH WHEN I SCOLDED HIM. I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING WHACK HIM LIKE I WANTED TO, OR THREATENED TO DO. So guess what? I GOT THE FUCKING LECTURE. BECAUSE I GOT ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO DAMAGE MY VERY EXPENSIVE AND PRECIOUS DOLL! WHERE'S THE FUCKING LOGIC IN THAT?
Its as if he can get away with anything! Do you know that he likes to whack my fifth aunt whenever he sees her? He's about 1.8m, with fucking huge muscles lah! And he will just whack her with all his strength. IT TOOK 4 PEOPLE JUST TO TRY AND RESTRAIN HIM. And do you know what the best thing is? SHE DOESN'T RETALIATE, OR EVEN DEFEND HERSELF (not that she can, because she's tiny, and shorter than me even in 3-inch stilettos).
打一只狗也要看主人的眼色 right? He's my second aunt's son, and she likes to spend her time away from the Jurong house, at her new apartment in Evelyn Road. Same with her kids, they don't like to spend time around the freak either. She's the nice aunt who always lends us the nacho machine. The fact that she's always not around means that he's lonely and likes to come over to make trouble for the rest of us. And he gets away with fucking everything, because he's abnormal. Plus, because Chinese people are so save face, we can't do anything when he makes more trouble. We can only tell her and she will burst out in tears because her son's a freak, and she can't do anything about it. Everytime we want to scold him or hit him, they INSIST that we don't, because he's abnormal, right? So he should get away with everything, because he doesn't understand? And besides, he's your aunt's son, you can't do that.
My youngest aunt locks herself inside her room whenever she's at home, and doesn't come out, because of she comes out, she'll get whacked. HE'S ALREADY MADE HER CHIP A TOOTH, AND BROKE THREE FUCKING PAIRS OF SPECTACLES. Of couse, because he's "FAMILY", we can't call the police. Yet, the one time my uncle whacked him for doing something, the police almost came into the picture. My grand uncle can't ever come over either, because he will whack him too. I'm not saying its right to hit an abnormal person, but i;m INFURIATED by the fact that HE GETS AWAY WITH MURDER. One day, he will kill someone, and the court of justice will release him, because he's abnormal. This is assuming that its even reported anyway. Must be so nice for the dead person.
This house is not a home. A home is somewhere you can relax and loosen up. Everytime i'm home, i feel so damn STRESSED, because of certain people who always manage to rile me up. I AM SO FUCKING GOING TO MOVE OUT WHEN I GET THE CHANCE. I DON'T NEED OR WANT THIS KIND OF STRESS IN MY LIFE. It never seems as though i have anything good to say about this house. Probably because there really isn't. I not only get stressed when that isiot comes over, which is every day, but also whenever my grandmother's at home, which is practically all the time, because she likes to turn on the tv at such a loud volume that i can't even hear myself think, et cetera. And people wonder why i always come home so late.
That was what i said a couple hours ago, and it holds true still now, only for different reasons.
Firstly what happened just now. I was getting frustrated at my new phone because the stupid mp3 player function sucked. It still does. It supports very few file types, and in particular does not support m4a files, which is the file type that some of my songs are encoded into. The stupid software which i downloaded to convert these files also didn't bother to transfer all of the data, and kindly excluded the artist, album and genre, so i had to re-input these. AND THEN, i tried to reload them into iTunes, and let's just say it was damn frustrating. All of this done while in the car, on the way to pick up my grandfather, who was another source of my ire, although to be fair, he didn't really do anything. Much.
So, we got to raffles city, and were waiting for a table in sushi tei. I went to do some retail therapy and relieve tension in dorothy perkins and topshop. It didn't work. It just made me not enjoy the shopping. And since i was shopping, i didn't hear my phone ring, and got to the restaurant late. So when i got there, everyone was already seated, and i was EXTREMELY pissed to see my grandfather sitting at my exalted seat next to the sushi belt. I had to squeeze into the seat opposite them with my brother and my mom. Not good. Too cramped. So, it began to rub me the wrong way, and i got even MORE irritated, especially since i realised that my mac's battery had been eaten by the stupid software, which i will be deleting soon, i'll tell you why. At around this time, i made use of the 2 minutes of battery i had left to post that angry comment.
And when my dad asked me what made me so grumpy, i told him that it was because of the new phone (which i love, other than the stupid mp3 player function), and the fact that my battery had been eaten by the stupid software. And he had the TEMERITY to RUB IT IN. "It's your fault what. Who asked you to choose such a lousy phone." At this point, i just diamed, and gave him a grumpy face. Then i buried my face in my hands, and my mom had the GUTS to START LAUGHING. "Is it that terrible?"
Okay, FYI, if you were too dense to notice this before, but you DO NOT LAUGH AT AN ANGRY PERSON. IT JUST MAKES THEM ANGRIER. And my dad, obviously not taking the hint, began to talk some more about how LG made lousy phones.
"You've been so used not nokia, of course you won't be used to the new phone."
"I've been using sony ericsson for 3 years, dad."
"So? Its on par with nokia." BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.
So what do i do? I obviously couldn't just scream at him, and i was so frustrated at that point that i was LITERALLY on the verge of tears. So, i walked out. Went to the basement toilet and tried to sit out the fact that i hated my grandfather for taking my seat and making me sit in some cramped corner (although he didn't really do anything - and the realisation of that only made me angrier), and that i was so frustrated at my new phone for betraying me so soon in our relationship. When i got out of the bathroom, i was still angry, so i walked around for awhile. What really made my mood better was watching some chinese dancers from guangzhou during their performance on the third floor. They're really not bad. And they had semi-topless hot, muscled guys. W00T.
And then, when i got back into the restaurant, my bad mood came back. Ugh. So i ate the rest of the meal in petulant silence. Eventually though, some makeup/retail therapy in watsons cheered me up. There's nothing like new makeup to cheer up a vain person like me who's obsessed with shopping. So at this point, my mood had improved vastly. What made it even BETTER was when i casually mentioned in a watch shop that instead of the watch they wanted to get me, i'd rather they get me an iPod. And my mom actually said OKAY. So that means that i am now the proud owner of a collection slip for a 16G iTOUCH, to be collected in about 2 weeks when stock arrives.
Dinner. Restaurant.
It was only on the ride home that i realised how much fucking work i had left to do. Geog tutorial prep. Geog lecture notes to read. Econs holiday homework. MATH LECTURE TEST. AND GUITAR PRAC TOMORROW. FUCK. Then, my thought was to sleep while i can, so i took a nap.
Got home, wanted to do geog. Realised i needed J1 materials. Looked for the nice neat box i put them in, COULDN'T FIND IT. REALISED THAT MY GRANDMOTHER HAD MADE THEM MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR. CAN YOU FEEL MY RAGE YET! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY STUFF! ESPECIALLY MY SCHOOL STUFF. I eventually found out that she had dumped them into another larger box with some of my loose manga, and DUG THEM ALL OUT AGAIN IN A FIT OF RAGE. She was (and still is) sleeping, so i can't blackface her yet. DO ALL THE CLEANING YOU WANT FOR NEW YEAR, BUT DON'T REARRANGE MY STUFF! ITS NOT FUCKING YOURS!!! Which, really, brings me back to the point about how i'm going to move out once i get the chance. Fuck this. I've since calmed down, but i still need to do work. Fuck.
Brrrrrrt.
Annoying.
Brrrrrrt.
Grr.
Brrrrrrt.
She better be done soon.
Brrrrrrt.
Okay, she had better stop now.
Brrrrrrt.
This is getting ridiculous.
Brrrrrrt.
Make that very ridiculous.
Brrrrrrt.
STOP.
Brrrrrrt.
NAO.
Brrrrrrt.
Brrrrrrt.
Brrrrrrt.
Brrrrrrt.
Brrrrrrt.
FUCKING STOP ALREADY!
Brrrrrrt.
.......!
Brrrrrrt.
=twitch=
Brrrrrrt.
ATTACK!
Okay. She's stopped. THANK GOD. Ugh.
Oh yes. She's replaced my very ugly-looking toaster oven with an even UGLIER toaster oven THAT HAS NO TEMPERATURE DIAL. That's right. So now, not only do i not have a microwave or a convection oven, i can't even make shortbread anymore, because i have no fucking idea what the temperature is! Damnit!
Secondly, well. I can't remember what my second rant is supposed to be about. Damn. Must be all the "Brrrrrrt"s brainwashing me.
Oh yes, in other news, i'm trying to brainwash my parents into getting me an iPhone. I'm close. I hope. AND I HATE MY CURRENT PHONE. It doesn't fucking work properly anymore. Someone can try to call me and not get through. They can send an sms, and i'll get it one day later. Or never, actually.
My mom mentioned that she was planning to get me one if i did well in 'A's. WTF?!?! My contract would have been auto-renewed by then (expires Aug 5 09), AND it would have become very very obsolete. No way. If she's waiting til 'A's, i had better get the newest custom-imported phone from NTT DoCoMo. Or better. Its been malfunctioning since BEFORE LAST YEAR. Damn. I've just really realised how horrible my phone is. Ugh. And that was rant number two.
I HATE Wednesdays, because the family (read: grandmother's precious only son) comes home early for dinner. My uncle's kids wreak havoc in my grandmother's room (read: THE ROOM I FUCKING SLEEP IN), and i basically never get any peace. I hate kids. SO. Instead of escaping to my parent's room as i always do, i decided to fall asleep. And so i did. For about 4 hours, from 6 plus to 10. I then woke up (they were gone, thank god) for dinner, and get the peace i needed to use my com. Talked to jass till 5am. Intended to go to sleep. Rolled around in bed. Suddenly my brother and cousin need to wake up to go to school, and i am unable to go to sleep.
EVEN BETTER, my DEAR GRANDMOTHER wakes up, and decides to switch the TV on. LOUDLY. She's fucking deaf lah, and i'm losing sleep AND turning deaf because of her. I somehow manage to fall asleep amongst the racket - only to wake up 3 hours later and find my grandmother soundly asleep. FUCK HER LAH, SHE FUCKING FALLS ASLEEP WHILE KEEPING ME AWAKE. SHE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES THAT. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. And the reason she woke up with my brother/cousin is to nag at her daughters, who leave at the same time, and to prepare a loving breakfast for her precious grandsons. (Who have just started Sec One). Fuck her lah, i never got any kind of special treatment when i entered Sec One. So effing 重男轻女. Ugh, i can't stand it. She doesn't even want to let them take bus. She took taxi and fetched my brother home after his CCA or tuition EVERY TIME for the entire of 2008.
And then, came the whole spiel of doctor's appointments. I had so many that i didn't even remember which clinic it was lah. Damnit. And when i came home, she was kind enough to fucking scold me for telling them not to put the fucking boxes of stuffed toys in the cubicle where i have my sewing machine. They were cleaning for Chinese New Year. Bitch.
On a very nice note, my Fr3b samples came in about 10 minutes ago, so its temporarily alleviated my foul mood. Temporarily. I need a nap. Let's take a nap. Goodnight.
- Mood:bitchy
This means that i will henceforth be able to use Paypal without the help of my mom's card. HEHE~
- Mood:bouncy
<333
But in any case, i have been influenced by a certain someone (she knows who she is) to start taking care of my skin. So recently, i've taken to a rigorous facial care routine that is liable to fall to pieces after school starts again in 8 days. Oh well. You can't blame me for trying. *3*
Even so, i think that the B.Liv by Cellnique line is quite good. The "off with their heads" gel is really reducing the appearance of my blackheads. (Yes, that's the one advertised by Xiaxue on her blog.) Or maybe that's the BB cream. Whatever.
Anyway, i've come to a realisation that my KI IS topic is damn boring, and i wish to redo it. Totally. What is it now? Its concerning the influence of culture on the perception of art and beauty. Its something i would do, but i now fear for its ability to sustain my interest for 6 months. Its probably not going to happen. I think i might do something about good and evil. Or something. I dunno. See what Mr. Lim says. Speaking of him, are we really getting Tan WJ next year? Oh well. No matter what, my social life will be nonexistent as of the 12th of Jan 2009. Woohoo. Great.
PS: I love you Sei-chan~~
PPS: http://ohthewomanity.wordpress.com/
GO READ.
- Mood:amused
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